I am sad
last week i went and saw the final piano competion. i am sad i did not win the finalist round. they all get to play with the city orchestra. first , yan xiao played, i thought he played very well, but no one agreed with me. a boy from another city named hao hengchuan played extremily well. he played with a lot of passion, and really it was a flawless preformance. yue yongli also played well. she had a lot of fake acting, but i guess it wa good for the judges. honestly, i think i deserve to win. i know it will be my turn next time.
批 改 老 师victory评 分78分级 别优良评 语
批改:
1.作文中每一段的首行应缩进4个英文字符。
2.第一行went的原型为go做去某地讲为不及物动词因此后面应加上to 改为went to 第一行am改为was,因为你在讲故事所以应用过去时态。第一行i am sad i did not win the 。。改为i am sad and i did not win the 。。。因为前后是两个并列的句子中间必须有连词。
3.第二行finalist改为final因为final本身就是“最后”的意思无级别变化。
4.a boy from another city named hao hengchuan played extremily well.此句为优秀句。分别用了介词短语和分词作定语。
5 。extremily应该为extremely
6.and really it was a flawless preformance. 应该为and it was really a flawless preformance.
7.wa改为was
评分:78
评语:首先字数上符合要求,(108个词)。叙述流畅清晰,简洁明了。大部分语法点准确,个别词汇拼写不够准确,总得来说,达到了题目的要求,是篇不错的习作。望今后在时态,及单词拼写方面多加注意。另外多积累基础知识。坚信通过不断练习积累会不断提高的。